The Truth About Real Change

A Yogi walked into a pizza parlor. "Make me one with everything." He said when he got to the counter.

When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill.

"Don't I get change?" The Yogi asked.

The proprietor said, "Change must come from within."

Two Rednecks and a Goat

This is probably my favorite plain-ol'-joke story.

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Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach and are amazed by the size of it.

The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole, I can't even see the bottom, I wonder how deep it is?"

The second hunter says, "I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."

The first hunter says, "There's this old transmission there, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".

So they pick it up and lug it over, and count one, two, three, and heave it in the hole. They are standing there listening, looking over the edge when they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole, and with no hesitation jump in head first.

While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole, and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.

"Say there," says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"

The first hunter says, "Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!"

And the old farmer said, "Why that's impossible, I had him chained to a transmission."